i could be at a par-tay...

but no....i had to almost pass out...so i am at home...resting cus...i suck. i am so emotionally and physically worn out. i am sick of being someone im not. i am sick of the snide comments i get from a certian someone. i miss not being hugged and cuddled with. i hate when i am ignored. i hate when people think im someone im not. i hate when i try to make people like me. i hate liking someone. i hate not being able to do anything. i hate listening to a certian someone talking about girls. i hate not seeing emma-leigh everyday. i miss david and cant wait to see him...and maybe hit him. i hate getting those looks you give me like im completly stupid. i hate people talking to me like i am an idiot.

wow...that feels better....and not i am going to do the 15 friends thing cus there are something i want to get out....

1: i love you with all my heart. you are my best friend and are always there for me. i can trust you with everything and you are always there for me. i miss you like crazy and cant wait for you to be at mal next year!! (hmmm i wonder who this could be :)

2: you will probably never figure this out but i like you. i dont know why i do but i just do. it is a recent thing that i cant get out of my head. it makes me happy when you talk to me. i wish you knew but dont at the same time.

3: you look at me sometimes and i just want to hit you. are you like this all the time??? or are you just an asshole to me?!? you're always really snappy at me and fuck...you just annoy the crap out of me!

4: only two months and i feel like you are one of my best friends. you fucking rock my life!!

5: my lovely smoking buddy. we have far to much in common deary...but i love you for it. you are probably my closest friend in the theatre program.

6: haha i have known you TOO long...i cant believe i met you again this year. crazy man...crazy

7: you're one of my fav people. we were pretty damn close at the beginning of the year but that is kinda going away. you told me secrets and i told you them. i know i can always count on you!

8: i wish you didnt do those things. you hurt me more then i have ever been hurt. and it still hurts to think about what i saw

9: you were the first person to talk to me this year...and you gave me a tour of the campus...you are crazy awesome!

10: you me and fernando!! im always here for you and you are pretty much awesome!

11: drama groupies DO rule the world...thats it

12: we drinking buddies. i am so very jelious of you most of the time. i know you cant help it but...i really am. but i know i can count on you to give me a hug every 26th...and that means a lot to me

13: conversations are never akward with you...even though we have only talked once or twice...there was no akwardness...which i tend to get alot...

14: we bus buddies...even if we have only taken the bus together once...it was a fun day it twas :D

15: im sorry i cant be there for you anymore. i have to give up and move on. i wish it could have worked out different. i still care for you with all my heart...but i just cant keep up this game you play with my head anymore. it drives me nuts. you will always be my shrink...but you cant be in my heart anymore :(

so there you go...im pretty sure no one is going to get theirs...cept maybe two...and em...you can probably guess most...but dont type it on here...i really dont want some peopel to know some of them. just remember guys...i love you all