not fair

why can i not be in pville right now? i hate being this far away from emma...it isnt fair...im supposted to be there when she needs me and i cant be! i wish i had a car or something and i would be...but no im not cus i dont go to that school anymore. maybe im not ready to be in college...i fucking love it but maybe it was too soon to leave ballenas for me...lots of people go back and maybe i should have. i really have not thought a lot of things through...like how the fuck im going to pay my student loan back...i dont work so i dont have money...i want to move out but again...dont have the money to do that...anyways....i wish the rain would go away cus it is making me depressed...and i love rain but there is just so much of it right now...