its good to feel good

today was good...not anything special really happened...my window in my bedroom finally got fixed. two guys came to put the new one it. it was fun to flirt again (one of them was 22 and quite cute) it was nice to laugh and giggle and just be amused again...it was good

68 Thingies! stolen from martha

1. Single or Taken - Single
2. Zodiac sign - leo
3. Birthday - Aug 4th
4. Male or Female - fem ale
5. Preschool- pied piper (in vancouver)
6. Elementary - armstrong elementary (vancouver) nanoose bay
7. Middle - springwood middle
8. High School -Ballenas
9. Eye color- blue/green
10. Hair color - blonde...black currently
Are you a health freak? nope
12. Height - 5'5"
13. Do you love someone - nope
14. Is that someone in your school - n/a
15. Piercings you have - 3 in each ear, tongue and lip
16. Righty or lefty - righty

FIRSTS :
17. First piercing- ears
18. First sport - basketball
19. First pet - benji dog
20. First vacation - i dont remember
21. First crush - micheal in preschool :P
22. First love - dont have one
23. First boyfriend/girlfriend- robert downs :P

CURRENTLY :
24. Eating - n/a
25. Drinking- kool-aid
26. Listening to - simpsons
27. Wanting to see/speak to - ....

YOUR FUTURE:
28. Want kids -someday
29. Want to get married - someday
30. Job - tech
31. Where will you live - wherever im happy

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
32. Lips or eyes- Eyes.
33. Looks or personality- Personality,
34. Athletic or lazy - dont really matter
35. Intelligence or attraction? attraction
36. Romantic or spontaneous- both
37. Body or mind?-mind
38. Tall or short- taller then me (which isnt hard)
39. Shy or outgoing- outgoing or shy...they are both awesome
40. Older or Younger? - older

HAVE YOU EVER :
41. Kissed a stranger- yea
42. Lost glasses/contacts - never
43. Ran away from home - to my moms car
44. Broken any bones- finger
45. Broken someone's heart - not that i know of
46. Been arrested- Nope
47. Cried when someone died - many a time
48. Liked a friend - for sure
49. Been cheated on - nope
50. Seen porn- hahah midsummer night porn :P
51. Snuck out - snuck others in
52. Been called a slut- hellz yes
53. Got in a fist fight - yup
54. Shoplifted- yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
55. Yourself - i try to...if i dont then who will?
56. Miracles- yessum
57. Love at first sight - lust but not love
58. Santa Claus - darn rights
59. sex on the first date - depends...probably not
60. Kissing on the first date - yeah
61. Angels - yes, i have many
62. God - yessum
63. Gay Marriage - darn rights
64. Abortion - only in special cases (rape)
65. Barack Obama - ???

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
66. Is there anyone you would really like to be with right now? for sure
67. Have you really liked someone that you shouldn't have? yeah
68. Have more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? Noppers

And that fateful day, I found who I was

i lost myself again...i was in a self pity mood again...DAMNIT! haha i knew i wasnt getting anywhere just sitting and doing nothing...so i went and looked at the warped tour videos....and that helped....i watched the band that got me so obsessed with getting into the music industry....and i saw myself...one the video...it was wierd but it got me thinking again....i wanted this so bad a few months ago and i just kinda forgot....so that inspired me to go look on wonderful facebook (thank you jilly for introducing it to me!) and i found a metalworks group...actual people who are now working in the industry cus of that school...and that is just waht i needed...i needed some sort of kick in the ass to get moving again...these people were scared like me...they were from out of province like me...they were just like me but they made it...and i can make it to. i know i can! i have faith in myself again...maybe even stronger then before.

in other news...i have the B2B audtion tomorrow...no im not audtioning again :p im going for tech for this summer....i talked to gary awhile back and he said that i very well could get paid...i cant not be paid if i need 36:000 dollers :P so cross your fingers for me guys! it wold be awesome to have B2B as a job cus the lighting tech is only 4 hours of work a day and then i could hold down anoter job as well! works for me!!!

woot woot!

set me free

a so i have not been writing .... i have a reason

ever since i saw the show i have had doubts...doubts about leaving school....i still owe the student loans 7,000$. plus im still worrying about the 36,000 tuition...and livining costs...i almost wish i could move out there now...find a job and settle in...make a life for myself there and then go...btu i cant...im not ready...i dont know if i will ever be ready. im losing my mind in this house....i've gone crazy i know it. i feel like crying all the time. i feel so alone. i never talk to anyone online anymore...i dont get comments and i dont see people in person....i am alone.

im just so confuzed right now...i know this is the path for me i just thought it would be easyer :(


i really miss you guys....i miss feeling like i was part of something....dont forget about me... (invite me to some partys...i need to get out of my house)


PS i have some care bear videos i want to get rid of...anybody want them?
=/

woot!

im actually going to go some where today...im getting out of my house and seeing people....i made plans!!! woot!!

yeah im going to see the show today....im excited to see everyone!

in other news...my fucking 4th piercing on my ear closed up AGAIN! im not re piercing it! fuck it! its hurts a lot right now cus i tried to re pierce it but chickened out....yeah i have no pain tolerence...

and again in other news...im now on the expert levil of guitar hero...which rocks...

yeah thats about all i got...

hallowe'en

so that was the best halloween ever. i went to the bar and sang karaoke....yeah i dont do that...but it was fun...i was very drunk....it was good