pft...that is how i feel right now....i have a HUGE likeing for my bestest best friend (he is a guy...get yous minds out of teh gutter.) i got suspended from school for 5 days for bring alchol toschool and my dad hasleft as planned.......well now my dad is comming home in like soon, i am going back to school adn well my BFF still doesn't know and i dont intend on telling him. i dont want to lose oour friendship for anything adn ....i just love the way he makes me laugh and the way he makes me feel special and just being arround him......well i am off


"Hopelessly in love and no way out..."

wow haven't really updated have i? so you want to know wha tis new? everyone is still fighting and i am just going to ignor it from now on. be friends with everyone. and not listen to the bad stuff other people say. im sick of it all. but it will now stop for me cus i am going to ignor it friom njow on.

"I know that only God can judge me!"

i wrote this when i was in a mood....


I’m crying, never to be,
Happy.
I’m sick, never to be,
Well.
I’m sleeping, never to be,
Woken.
If only someone could,
Help

I’m falling, never to be,
Reached.
I’m broken, never to be,
Fixed
I’m lost, never to be,
Found.
If only you could,
Help.

I’m a treasure, never to be,
Found.
I’m a dream, never to be,
Reached.
I’m a beauty, never to be,
Seen.
If only I could
Help.

FUCK IT ALL

i am so sick of people right now.....i can't stand trying to solve everything. my friends are all just screwed up right now....beyond fix. and i am trying to help everyone but it is driving me MAD.......i need help sometimes too...i need people to help me....my dad is moving to calgary for his new job adn i like one of my best friends.....im screwed in the head right now and i dont know what to do....i want to cry but i cant....i feel if i start then i wont be able to stop......EVER!!!!!!!!!! i want an escape..... if only i could go with my dad....start over again.......brand new.....try to find friends that i could actually trust.......people that i could talk to without feeling like im stupid or ebing judged......am i not worth anything to them?

pft.....im bored....go ask alice is in 2 days....my first stage acting.....very a citing....dont have much tio write (or that i want to write) snowed in for the last few days whci sucked but oh well......

hmmm. today has been interesting....my rant earlyer was.......well needed that is all i have been doing today is ranting....im sick of people thinking that they are the best......im gald i have friends like E.L. and H. they haave made me feel much better than i was feeling.....still in a runt though...i wish i could feel something or not so much.....i don't even know what i am feeling anymore....just fed up i guess....missing my old life....want a change......maybe i'll get a tatoo...maybe or something else...i want to do something wild and crazy wiht ANYONE.....like kiss a stranger or ....i don't want to resort to other stuff again.........bad stuff that you cant stop using.....no i won't, can't, shouldn't...maybe...i don't know anymore.....

"How can you feel everyting and nothing at the same time?"

why must i be so ignored? y don't people care....my "friends" had a new years party last night, talked about i right in frount of me, and tehn talked some more...im sick of them always being so ignoriant......i have had enough......im done with them they are no longer my "friends" there dead to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!