hearing those words, it makes me weak

[this is a michelle being emo again...pass it over...i just needed to type]


oh jeeze...why is there always a guy you CANNOT GET OVER!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Em...im not over him for fucks sake. i've tried to find someone new...i really have...but ... no one measures up to him....there have been times...when i could have gotten someone...but i didnt...cus i kept saying..."he might just choose me" but it always ends not in my favor...and it isnt one of those stupid crushes...it will be two fucking years in feb...yes i remember the actual fucking date...so i am boardering on stalking...so fucking what?!?! and it kinda pisses me off how his current girlfriend actually told me to go for him...cus she was interested in someone else...so i tried..and i just havnt stoped....and i have tried EVERYTHING! just being his friend doesnt work cus i hate hearing about his girl troubles (typicle girl...i think i wouldnt do that every time he says somethin >< ) gack i am talking to him about falling in love right now...this is horrible for my emotional well being...very very bad....grr...i miss how we used to talk...fucking stupid me telling him...god..im an idiot...god i dont wanna fucking cry over him anymore...god i am so emo...its just...i have liked him for so long...ok scrach that...i really do love him...it passed like a long time ago. he is amazing...(em this is the time you are supposted to smack me back in to reality...but you are not here so i go on) WHY CAN I NOT GET OVER HIM!>!>!>!?!?!?!? GOD!! he makes me want to cry...damnit! i miss talking to him for hours...we would always talk about the hard stuff in life...like love and relationships and losing people and death and where we go after we die (which was the hardest topic ever cus he almost did die :'( ) maybe that is why i am so attached to him...cus i could lose him. why does laughing with him make me want to cry?? serously havnt talked to him like this in...months...the beginning of the summer or something...and i am totalyl crying now...it isnt fair...why can guys do this?? why can they make you want to feel everything and then not feel anything in the matter of 5 mins?? god everytime he makes me laugh i cry...this is nuts...im nuts