Damnit!

i dont think i can visit BSS anymore...it makes me really depressed. i feel so left out whenever i go back to mal cus of "how it was" im still a high school kid. i really am. and i miss my emma. oh i miss her more then ever! she always understood me. no matter what. and we are both like this. on friday when i visited i was the happiest i have been in months. since school ended actually. i miss seeing her everyday and just being able to talk to her for hours on end. we come as a pair. we have for 2 years basically. we did everything together. like I've said...we ARE sisters. we think like sisters, we act like sisters, hell we are sisters. but...we grew apart ...not emotionally...but situations are pushing us apart. like we dont go to the same school anymore and i have not been to her house since the last school dance and she has not been here alone since well before that. i miss doing things with her. just her and me. sure i love the people we hang out with but for god's sake i miss her! even though we are so far from each other we still think alike. it is rather funny actually. i will just randomly phone her one day and we will basically have the same news to tell each other. it is scary. we share 1.5 brains. i feel so alone without her. they say you are supposted to make your life long friends in college...but i really have found mine. i went and friday and within 10 mins we were already thinking alike. i really feel like half of me is missing every time i go to school. shes told me she feels the same. like when she called me a few weeks ago when we all went to fast eddies she was telling me how she actually went looking for me...people swore she had lost her mind. i just want her here now. i want her to be in college with me. i know im supposted to be independant but i dont fucking want to...i want my emma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she just understands me in a way no one can. she knows me better then i know me.