i've been thinking alot again...thinking about me..about what i need to do...im so scared to grow up...but i want to get out of here...so im kinda stuck again...im so worried about money...if i go back to school i will have a huge debt and i dont like that...i dont like oweing people a doller...i have 7000$ in loans to pay off...and that scares me. if i go to katimavik for a year then i will get threee dollers a day plus 1000$ once i finish in a bursary...that would help SOOO much...so i aplyed and i think i am goiing to do it...im scared as hell to leave but....it would be 9 months out and about...in the real world...scary thought eh? i would get to go to three places i have never been...that would be soo cool...so i dunno...i wanna do it. but it would be hard...you are not allowed to come home for christmas...or new years...which would both be hard...you';re not allowed to drink...which would again be hard...im sure i could go around that rule cus im pro but...i dunno...we'll see what happens and if i even get into second year :P