i have a juice box

yeah...so today i ALMOST lost it...durring the rehersal...it wasnt cus of the rehersal...it was cus of me and my thinking...i was onstage doing my job of striking the stairs...others were doing sound stuff...and what song do they choose to play? time of your life by green day...THE SONG THAT I CANNOT LISTEN TO WITHOUT THINKING OF JOHN!!! ahhh so i was like...just get it done and go be emo for a bit...so i did...went and left emma a voice mail...almost cried...went outside...almost cried...went to the green room...took deep breaths...almost lost it...Juli came in and asked what was wrong...i couldnt tell her without sobbing so i feel bad...i hate losing control like that...it is the first time i have "cried" about John in about 2 months...insane hey? its 8 months on opening night...and 2 months for Sara on the 26th....

oh man...Josh makes me feel better :) he makes me smile...its kinda nice...

but enough emo...i get to do that on monday...we are having an emo day...where everyone is going to dress emo and be all emo and it is going to rock hard core...



COME SEE MY SHOW!!!