All I Can Hear Is The Rain....

I love the sound of the rain...I have three skylights above me...and i can hear the rain pounding on them...and i can hear the wind chimes outside...one thing about living in the basement is i dont hear the rain...

so i know i am updating twice in one day...but im thinking alot lately...about what i want out of life and how to get it. i believe in signs...more then i should...and i got a weird sign the other day...i was watching chanel 13 or something...and here comes this add for NTS on the t-v...it was weird cus the day before i was talking to my mom about wanting to go there...and she was my typical mother..."oh i dunno...is it really worth it to go all the way there? couldnt you just go to vic or something?" and i was trying to explain to her why...but i really couldnt...all i could say is "only 7 people get into my program a year across canada..." that seemed to keep her quite for a bit...but then this add came on...and i couldnt take my eyes off it...i didnt blink...my mom saw that and watched the TV...after the add she asked where this was...and i told her...and she said "well i guess you would live on campus then" SCORE ONE FOR THE TEAM!!! MY MOM IS ACCEPTING THAT I WILL MOVE OUT ONE DAY!! and i think she has accepted that i want to go there...to montreal...farther then i have ever been from home...i was just shocked to hear her say this...it didnt hit me till later...its amazing...i never thought i would even make it to college let alone to a program like theatre....

but for the first time ever...i know i am going to make it...i will make it in the world of theatre...i will make it in this world period...i have to...what other choice do i really have? stay at home for the rest of my life??? haha fat chance...im going to be fine...im going to struggle and give up but i wont...i havnt so far...and i've been pushed...i get weird looks from people when i say im doing theatre in school...you can see it in their face they are questioning why...and how i am going to do it for a living...but the way i see it...i will never be happy doing anything else...sure i could go into music or law or teach...but would i be happy? no i wouldnt...you should see me come out of rehersals...i cant stop smiling...when i get home...i cant stop smiling...durring rehersal i cant stop smiling...i must look like an idiot smiling all the fucking time...but it is nice to be able to answer people positivly when they ask how i am.

to leave with something fun...i love you all...and HAPPY FUCKING BDAY MANDIICAP!!! YOU'RE LEGAL FOR ME NOW....WAIT...I DIDNT SAY THAT YOU CANT PROVE IT!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA LOVE YOU MUCHLY!!!!!!!!

and two... fun thing cus it rocks at life too...i'ma talking about savage garden yo! *does wigger hand thingy* *grabs a chair...wiat wha??* LMAO!!! (em you are my hero!)

I never thought I’d change my
opinion again
But you moved me in a way that I’ve
never known
You moved me in a way that I’ve
never known

But straight away you just moved
into position again
You abused me in a way that I’ve
never known
You abused me in a way that I’ve
never known

So break me shake me hate me
take me over
When the madness stops then you
will be alone
Just break me shake me hate me
take me over
When the madness stops then you
will be alone

So you’re the kind that deals with the
games in the mind
Well you confuse me in a way that
I’ve never known
You confuse me in a way that I’ve
never known

So break me shake me hate me
take me over
When the madness stops then you
will be alone
So won’t you break me shake me hate me
take me over
When the madness stops then you
will be alone

She says, " I can help you, but what
do you say?"
'Cause it's not free baby, you'll have
to pay
You just keep me contemplating, that
your soul is slowly fading

God, don't you know that I live with a ton
of regret?
'Cause I used to move you in a way
that you've never known
But then I accused you in a way that
you've never known
But you've hurt me in a way that I've
never known...

Break me shake me hate me
take me over
When the madness stops then you
will be alone
So won't you break me shake me
hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you
will be alone

Listen, baby
You'll be, you'll be alone

Break me shake me hate me take
me make me
Fake me break me shake me hate
me take me
Break me