Tech

Behold, my children, here is wisdom. Pay heed to these words, and in the days of thy play, in the hours of thy performance, thou shall not be caught short. For truly it is said, "Pay heed to the errors of others, and thou shall not make them thyself;" and again, as we have been told from old, To Thine Own Self Be True.


1. Give not unto the actor his props before his time, for as sourly as the sun does rise in the east and set in the west, he will lose or break them.

2. When told the placement of the props by the Director, write not these things in ink upon thy script, for as sourly as the winds blow, so shall she change her mind.

3. Speak not in large words to the actors, for they are slow of thought and easily confused.

4. Speak on in the language of THE TECHIE to the actors, for they are unniniated (morons), and will not perceive thy meaning.

5. Tap not on the head of a nail to drive it, but strike it firmly with thy strength.

6. Keep holy the first performance, for afterwards, thou shall party.

7. Keep holy the last performance, for afterwards, thou shall strike, and then party.

8. Remember that thy Tech Director is never wrong. If it appears that he is, then you obviously misunderstood him the first time.

9. Beware of actors during scene changes, for they are unlike thou and are blind in the dark.

10. Beware of actors when flying in walls, for they will stand and watch and get crushed.

11. Take not thy cues before their times, but wait until the proper moment to do so.

12. Take pity on the actors, for in their roles they are as children, and must be led with gentle kindness. Thus, try to speak softly, and not in anger.

13. Listen carefully to the directions of thy director as to how she wants things done - then do them the right way. In the days of thy work, she will see thy wisdom, give herself the credit, and rejoice.

14. AND ABOVE ALL, GET CARRIED AWAY NOT WITH THE GLOW TAPE, OR THY STAGE WILL LOOK LIKE AN AIRPORT.



Remember always that thou art a techie, born to walk the dark places of the stage, and know the secret ways of thy equipment. To thine hands it is given to mold the dreams and thoughts of they who watch, and to make thy stage a separate place and time. Seek not, as do the actors, to go forth in light upon the sgage, for though they walk and strut and pot on airs, their craft does truly depend on you, to shape the dreams that they would show.

Remember also that though they depend on you, you exist only to aid them. Remember that thou art a team, for thou shall party together.

My friends, be not deceived by the deluded actors masquerading as Techies. Remember always the signs by which thou shall recognize a true Techie:


1. They move softly during scene changes, not stumbling or falling.

2. They are silent backstage and aware of what is happening.

3. They can speak with a knowledge of tools.

4. They respect another's job and aid where they can.

5. They will not whine at an obstacle, but fix it in silence.

6. They DO NOT just sit and watch.



Amen.

We hold these truths to be self evident: THAT ALL TECHIES ARE CREATED SUPERIOR.





tee hee just something i find truly amusing...i joined a new forum...its just for techs...and it rocks my life cus i understand...and relate