October 9, 2007

love it seems made flying dreams so hearts could soar

fuck...i really dont think people care about me anymore......
this is not a cry for attention...its a realization....i just lost a fucking friend of mine....and you think that would open peoples eyes about how concieded we are...but it didnt...i dont think of myself that ofton...i dont think about how this will help me along...im not like that...maybe i should be...maybe i should just be a bitch to people and get somewhere in this world? maybe...but i dont think i can...i was not built like that...i go out of my way to please people...and i really shouldnt....cus i get forgotten....i dont have any close friends anymore....they are just leaving me to find my own way...i miss having someone to rely on and be there for....i hate this growing up thing...i always said "im going to keep my friends from high school forever" and now...fuck i dont even talk to them...and i dont want to make new friends...new friends dont know how messed up my head is....how fucked up my life has been....they dont know how i work....

maybe im just destined to not have friends anymore....maybe i had my time and i pushed them all away....or maybe...im just not worth anyones time anymore....

people dont tell me they love me anymore...you dont know how much you miss that till it isnt there anymore...i used to get hugs and people actually caring about me....


im done....im done being peoples "friend' the one you come to when others are not around....fuck it all

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