I cant escape winding down these halls

im trapped...
in my own head
i cant get out
every day is the same
i dont leave my house
except mondays
for 3 hours
thats it....
i dont have a job
the only person im not kidding
isnt real
to everyone but me
Im lost
i cant get out
this is never going to end
im too messed up in my own head to
escape
i make up stupid excuses
and only i believe them
i miss having a purpose in life




so i have not done this in awhile so i want to do it again...

write 10 statements....

1: i honestly dont know what i would do without you right now...you are always there to listen...i just wish we could do it face to face instead of a computer screen...i want to hug you...i want you to see me cry and to know when i am lying through my teeth

2: fuck i miss you. you act like we were never friends but we were. you said you would always be there for me...but you're not anymore. and that fucking sucks. you used to be my best friend...you still are in my mind...i fucking miss you so much.

3: i miss comming to school to see you. you were the first person from the program to really try and get to know me. remember playing the ringtones at the picnic? that was so much fun.

4: you're amazing. people dont tell you that alot. you have your problems but who doesnt? yours are just more on the surface but that makes it easyer to love you. you dont have to look far to see how awesome you are. you invited me, a random person, to your picnic allowing me to get to know some of the theatre people. thank you so much for that.

5: you said i could always talk to you when i was sad. you said you would remember that i got sad on the 25th of every month. i wish you had kept that promise. it ment a lot to me. i guess i thought we were closer then we were. but im happy you are happy with your life right now. you deserve it

6: you used to talk to me. i liked that you trusted me with your writing. and i still hold that dear. i wish we could have gotten to know each other more. i think you could have helped me so much. i hope all your dreams come true. you really deserve it

7: you confuse me. sometimes you seem to hate being in my presence and are annoyed with everything i saw...and other times you leave me comments that are totally random btu make my day.

8:you were and are the best person i worked with last year in the program. you never looked down on me and you always answered my questions. i wish you all the best in the tech world. you are really a joy to be around.

9: you were so intimidating when i first met you at the picnic. you're so talented on stage i love watching you. you command people to look at you without even trying to. good luck in life darling. i'll always be there to suply with random vodka :P

10: you used to be there for me...you used to care. when john died you were the first person i ran to. now i dont even talk to you anymore. and i try to. you just seem to be turning back the clock instead of moving forward. i wish i could be there like i used to. i love you


well these should be pretty easy to guess...