Can I Be Somebody Else For All The Times I Hate Myself

soul searcing again...and i realized something...Im forgettable. i dont have amazing points about me that people remember. unless they get to know me.

i remember at the beginning of the year i was so excited to go back...and im kinda excited but more for the course...not so much the people. i dont deal with drama and all that stuff. im not accepted and i know that. i didnt let go of my past and i still havnt. im annoing and a child most of the time. i say things that make people dislike me. and it hurts to know people dont like me but i have accepted it now. its really not bothering me anymore.

im going to be so different next year that im not going to fit in even more. i dont smoke pot anymore nor will i be starting up again...im cutting back on my drinking and im quitting smoking...

im not going to be M next year...Im going to be michelle. Im not going to be the false people that i have made myself. I am going to be me...the girl, the christian, the music and theatre nerd. I am happy right now. Im lost but im happy being lost. I love who i am and who i will become. i am happy being me and if people cant accept that then i dont wish i know them at all. i dont wish to more then say hello cus i will be friendly.

screw all you who cant accept me. who cant see past my faults. who cant see past the fact that who i am today is a direct result of who i was, henceforth i wouldnt change the past for anything. screw all those who only see the outside of me without getting to know me. screw all those with think i am slow or stupid cus i have learning dissabities. screw all those who think i am hypocritical, stupid, ugly, lame or any other word i have heard used agaisnt me. I cant stand you people anymore. nor do i want to be around you low life people.


ok think im done ranting now. this is me...take it or leave it!