so i got my laptop back...the school i want to go to is calling tomorrow for an interview....things are going great...but i dont feel that....i havnt been to school in 2 days...i really ment to...but i just couldnt...i hate that no one there knows what i am going through...it seems like im just making excuses for myself again..."oh another person in her life passed away" i got it this summer too...i was trying so hard not to bring my life into my job...but it got hard...and i actually got someone comment me back saying i sure do know a lot...yes i fucking do...i dont choose them to die....i wish with all my heart they were still here...i dont like the pain of this...i dont like that 5 of my friends have passed away in the past year...i dont like it one fucking bit...i really miss all of them...i miss running into them and just getting a hug...i miss ian and his laugh...i miss john and his snide comments...i miss tim and our *poke* game...i miss hearing him giggle like a little girl....i miss neil and his stubborness and passion for his job...i fucking miss all of them...
this is why i hate growing up...i was blessed to have seen ian before he died...i havnt seen tim in over a year cus i didnt go back to bss enough...which isnt fair...who is it going to be next that i havnt seen? hold the fuck onto your friends...tell them you love them every fucking day cus they might just be gone the next!
i love you all....
Rest In Peace Tim....I'm really going to miss you! <3
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