so...thinking alot...i'm lost...really lost...i feel i want to change but im having a lot of trouble doing that....you have no idea how hard it is to quit smoking...like oober hard...but i am still trying...
as for camp....its starting to take a toll on me....im really tired and sore all the time and i am starting to dislike the people i work with....and i can hear you all in the back of my head *thats life m...get used to it* i know that is how life is but im not ready...im not ready to grow up yet. i am really not...i see people younger then me who are more ready then i am...i am terrified....
im still not over losing ian...i try to be strong...but im really not...i miss him...and i miss brian....how typical of me to miss people AFTER they are gone and not comming back...and i miss my friends...i miss talking to them everyday...i do love this work but....its just getting to much...i cant wait till school...its going to be soooooooooo easy after this summer....i miss you guys too....alot... i miss that i knew who i was....i dont know if i know that anymore...i know im michelle...but i dont know what my mind thinks half the time...it confuses even me most of the time....i just dont get it
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