so not ready

i want to go back to high school already...i havnt even started yet and i dont want to go...fucking rash desicisions...this wasnt in the plan...well neither was John dying but things happen...and now i am going to school ... to a new theatre... i want my old theatre...i knew who i was there...i knew my place and not to over step it...i worked for three years to get to where i was in that place and i liked it...i ran that fucking place...well with courteney but i never listened to her anyways...i dont like going back to the bottom...at least Nabil will be in some of my classes...and on the bus...and hopefully in some plays...*crosses fingers* i love doing shows with him...last one was Midsummer and it was a fucking blast...*sigh* midsummer...fuck that was the best show...oh man that makes me miss my theatre even more ><>< ) i really dont know what to do anymore...it just isnt the right time for me yet...stupid desision...im sure im going to have a fucking blast...once i get to know people...cus right now...im all alone...and that is the worst feeling ever